how to define succes

What it means - You accept someone else’s standards of “success” (wealth, title, followers, visible status) as your own without asking whether those goals fit your values, capacities, or long‑term flourishing. How it happens (mechanisms) - Social comparison and conformity: we benchmark ourselves against peers and media (Festinger). - Status signaling and cultural capital: social rewards push us toward visible markers (Veblen; Bourdieu). - External incentives and advertising: institutions and markets design incentives that shape desires. - Internalization and “bad faith”: we take on roles and goals unreflectively, losing authentic choice (Sartre). Why it’s a problem (philosophical and practical consequences) - Misaligned ends: you may pursue ends that don’t contribute to what actually matters to you (loss of agency). - Fragile well‑being: externally anchored success depends on others’ changing judgments (hedonic treadmill). - Opportunity costs: time, attention, and moral capital are spent on visible goods instead of intrinsic goods (virtues, relationships, mastery). - Moral and psychological harms: chasing status can encourage unethical shortcuts, anxiety, and shallow satisfactions. How to spot it (simple signs) - You feel “successful” briefly after external recognition but empty soon after. - Your goals respond more to others’ expectations than to your own reasons. - You neglect activities that feel meaningful but don’t look impressive. - Decisions are driven by comparison (“keeping up”) rather than by chosen values. Quick corrective steps - Pause and ask: “Why is this goal important to me?” and “Would I pursue it if no one could see?” - Inventory values and test priorities: spend a month prioritizing one intrinsic value (relationship, craft, learning) and observe changes in satisfaction. - Replace comparative metrics with internal ones: progress in skill, depth of relationship, coherence with values. - Limit exposure to status cues (social media, envy‑triggers) and seek diverse role models. - Revisit goals periodically; make some aims explicitly non‑negotiable (e.g., health, integrity). Selected references - Festinger, L. (1954). A Theory of Social Comparison Processes. - Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics (on external vs. internal goods). - Veblen, T. (1899). The Theory of the Leisure Class; Bourdieu, P. (1979). Distinction. - Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (Self‑Determination Theory) on intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation. - Brickman & Campbell (1971) on the hedonic treadmill. If you want, tell me one goal you’re considering and I’ll help check whether it’s externally or internally motivated.